Chaotic Butterfly

Hi, my name is Lindsay. You know I was laying in bed and I thought.: There is not one day that I haven't acted responsibly. Now in my prime, age 21 I'm pregnant. So I ask myself, do I regret not being a kid. Taking that zig when I could have zagged? I answer, no. Being responsible is something I've always been good at. I blame it mostly on growing up around much older people and having a doctor tell me I might not see the future ahead of me. Having this baby meant more responsibility and unlike my counter half (who is now scuffling for his youth) I welcome the change. This baby, in my opinion if you will... has saved my life. I'm 2 months and 1 day and I used to be consumed with hatred, but I can't do it anymore. I speak freely, act wisely and tell the people I love "I love you." more. I'm sure many will ask, doesn't it bother you that you may die and your kid is left alone? The funny thing is I've never felt alone, not EVER. I have few and far between for family. Most of my mom's side is dead and what great number my dad has is dieing. Though, my baby has two people that I myself have looked to in all my years on this Earth, my sister and my mother. Though what if they die? I turned to my art and books. My point is, alone is never really alone. Even without me, I want to hope that cruel clutches of this world can respect a new beginning when it sees one. A lot like the fragility of a butterfly in it's first moments. If it's raining, it wings will get wet and die. Though if the sun permits or the leaf that it's sitting on provides shelter. That's one more butterfly to assure that life still goes on.